General Tso's Beefy Miss-Adventure

This is another of those projects that seem really interesting but just does not come out as expected. Sometimes you find little treasures and sometimes you spend the rest of the night licking the carpet because it tastes much better.

One of my favorite dishes at the local dim sum around the corner is General Tso's Chicken. It’s a crispy marinated chicken with sweet and spicy overtures; KFC this is not!  The general idea of this dish is chicken cubes coated with a soya sauce, eggs, and cornstarch; then deep fried for 3 or 4 minutes and covered with a sweet spicy sauce, yum.

To be just a bit different this might translate over to beef… From the start unbeknownst to me this is where everything starts to go wrong, what the frack was I thinking. First deep frying is verboten in our house by the chief broad, so I figure I can pan fry it. I marinade my lovely sliced beef top sirloin. Using a cross cut to give the meat more texture and allow it to easily separate when you bite into it, this provides the illusion of tenderness. Ten minutes in some soya sauce and egg. The beef is way too salty now I can see the sodium oozing from it; ok on to version two, I can still salvage this.

I dilute the marinade with some rice wine vinegar, water and add some thin ginger shards to give it some contrast. Into the cornstarch and then the pan with a ¼ inch of oil for 4 minutes a side, think sponge effect (can you see where this is going). A nice thick caramelizing coating was being created but at what cost.

Before I get into the sauce I want to be sure this beef is what I’m looking for.

Barb was the first to taste it. It did not make it past three bites before it was spit out like projectile vomit hitting the window behind me. “No taste and the texture was reminiscent of grilled fat and elastic bands” said Barb, it was hard to argue with such a precise description.

Ahh but then there is my little carnivore Josh, who just got off the bus from an all day ski trip, he was starving. I offered him some of my newest creation and he got two bites in and back to he plate it went, stating “Can I go to bed and skip supper…” Gravy and cheese curds could not even help this one.

The family called this one “FAIL”

Cheers from the Big Dog

File this into bloopers….